Author, Acolyte
by ColdFusion180
Summary: Remy learns more than he wants to know about some of Pyro's literary habits.


**Author, Acolyte**

"Do you think she'll like it?" Pyro asked.

"Um, I guess so," Piotr tried to be supportive. "If she liked the other ones you have made."

"Oh, she did," Pyro confirmed happily. "But it never hurts to get a second opinion."

"Well I am not sure how useful I was in that regard," Piotr cautioned him. "I am not very familiar with these things."

"Come on mate. You pointed out a few things I needed to fix. Even the smallest detail makes a difference in something like this," Pyro insisted.

"If you say so," Piotr shrugged. "I was just happy to help."

"Here you _hommes_ are," Remy said as he entered the Control Room of the Acolyte base. Pyro was seated at the main computer while Piotr stood next to him. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"Hey Gambit," Pyro waved. "What's up?"

"Besides the sky?" Remy quipped. "I just needed to warn you both that Mags wants roast leg of lamb for dinner."

"Uh oh," Piotr frowned. "Didn't you remind him about the last time we made it? Or more like tried to make it?"

"Yeah and the huge mess we ended up with?" Pyro shivered. "I still have nightmares about that."

"Yes I did and Mags said to make it away," Remy explained. "But this time he's not gonna let Sabes anywhere near the kitchen while we're cooking. That and make sure there aren't any electric fans or blowdryers around."

"Well, I suppose that will be safe," Piotr agreed hesitantly.

"It better be," Pyro warned. "The third to last thing I want is another image of Sabes wearing nothing but fried grape jelly stains and a strategically placed oven mitt while eating sixty pounds of raw lamb shanks and intestines running around in my head."

"No kidding," Remy gave a small involuntary shudder before looking at the main computer screen. "So what are you guys up to?"

"Oh not much," Pyro shrugged. "I'm just finishing something for that white-striped hair shelia we ran into at the library."

"WHAT?!" Remy ran to the computer and knocked Pyro out of his seat. "LET ME SEE!"

"Ahhh!" Pyro yelped as he was sent tumbling to the floor. "Ohhh, if you insist…"

"Be careful!" Piotr gave Remy a disapproving look. "You did not need to do that."

"What are you sending her?" Remy's eyes were glued to the computer screen. "Let's see…huh? 'Garlic is No Defense'? What the heck is this?"

"It's a story I wrote," Pyro coughed as Piotr helped him to his feet. "It explores the tough and rare aspects of Korean vampires."

"Vampires?" Remy blinked. "You want her to read a story about vampires?"

"Sure. Whaddya think it was?" Pyro asked.

"Oh nothing, nothing," Remy recovered his composure and looked over the screen. "So where is the email address you're sending this to?"

"Oh I'm not sending it to her directly," Pyro explained as he managed to nudge Remy aside and retake his seat. "I'm gonna post it on a website that archives original written works."

"Huh?" Remy looked confused. "You mean there's a website that is solely for people to post stories or whatever? What's it called, Fiction-Writers-R-Us dot com?"

"Na, it's called CreativeCompositions dot org," Pyro said as he brought up the site. "You can put pretty much anything on here. See? I have my own account and everything."

"Wait a second. Why do you bother to put stuff up on here in the first place? Why don't you just publish 'em instead like you do with your other novels?" Remy asked.

"Because the works I post on here aren't novels, though there are a lot of novel length stories on here," Pyro indicated the website. "Sometimes I write something that won't blend into my main stories because it's too short or off topic or something. And since I don't like wasting the ideas I just post them here."

"Interesting," Piotr studied the screen. "You have other works on here?"

"Yep. I've got dozens of stories archived here," Pyro smiled proudly. "Since that white-striped hair shelia liked my novels I told her about this place so she could read some of my other works."

"What kind of stories are they?" Piotr asked curiously.

"Oh, you know. Romance, action, thrillers, comedy. Whatever comes to mind," Pyro shrugged. "The website also lets you post stories that take place in copyrighted materials and settings, like movies and TV shows and stuff. I've written a few stories about them too."

"I see," Remy stroked his chin. "So how much do you get from them?"

"Huh?" Pyro blinked, confused.

"For your stories. How much does this CreativeCompositions website pay you for them?" Remy inquired. "Is it a lot?"

"Nope. I write the stories and they host 'em for free," Pyro said.

"What?" Remy was shocked. "You mean you just give away all those stories you've worked on for **free**?"

"Sure," Pyro shrugged.

"Well, what about the people who read them?" Remy asked. "Doesn't the website charge them something for the privilege?"

"Nope. People can read the stories for free too," Pyro said.

"Oh geeze," Remy groaned. "That has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard of."

"Why? What is wrong with it?" Piotr asked.

"Hello? Haven't you been listening?" Remy gave him a look. "These people probably spend hours writing stories and poems and whatever, and then they give 'em away for nothing! If they're gonna work so hard they might as well get some money out of it."

"Actually the quality level varies a lot between works," Pyro pointed out. "Some are really good while others have grammar mistakes or spelling errors or something."

"So only the writers of the high quality works should be paid. Or at least paid more," Remy insisted. "That'll create competition and increase the quality of the stories posted on there. Everybody will benefit."

"Maybe the writers do not care about competition or getting money," Piotr suggested.

"Then why the heck do they bother to write at all?" Remy asked.

"For fun," Pyro said passionately. "For the chance to just go and entertain the public. Writing is its own reward. It's not what you get for it; it's what you get out of it that matters."

"Wow, that is very profound," Piotr blinked, impressed.

"And to be the master of your own little written world," Pyro continued with a crazy look in his eye. "A chance to control everyone and everything with your mind. To have them do anything and everything you've ever wanted them to! For the power to control the universe and mold it to your desires! The power! THE POWER! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"O-kay, maybe I can understand that last one," Remy blinked as Pyro continued to laugh maniacally.

"Pyro? Pyro?" Piotr tried to snap Pyro out of his trance. "Can anyone be allowed to write and post stories on there?"

"Huh? Oh of course, mate," Pyro stopped laughing and addressed him. "Anyone can write a story. Even you."

"Me?" Piotr repeated, surprised.

"Why not? I bet you have a story or two people would like," Pyro encouraged.

"Hmmm," Piotr cocked his head in thought.

"You're not actually considering writing something are you?" Remy gave Piotr a weird look.

"Well, maybe just to see what happens," Piotr blushed slightly.

"That's the spirit!" Pyro cheered. "How about you Gambit? Wanna try writing a story?"

"Are you kidding? Forget it," Remy brushed him off. "I've got better things to do than waste my time doing something pointless like that."

"Hey! Writing is a noble and worthwhile thing to do!" Pyro defended and indicated the computer screen. "The writers who post stuff on here are people with fortitude and imagination!"

"More like people with bad economic sense and way too much time on their hands," Remy rolled his eyes.

"Come on mate. There must be something you always wanted to write about," Pyro prodded. "Isn't there some dream or fantasy you've had and wanted to happen for real?"

"Well, yes," Remy admitted while thinking about a certain female X-Man. "One or two things do spring to mind."

"Great. Now write down how they happen with a few details and then polish them up so they make sense," Pyro instructed. "That way the stories will occur every single time somebody reads them. They'll go on and last forever!"

"I think you might be on to something here," Remy grinned mischievously and turned toward the control board. "Let me see one of your stories so I have an idea on what kind of words to use."

"Uh, you might not want to do that," Pyro gulped and tried to prevent Remy from doing so. "There are lots of better ways to find a good writing style and…no, not that one!"

"Here we go," Remy brought up a story and began reading it aloud. "'Ok…hic!…okay, here it goes,' René did a quick stretch and began to do the somersaults. 'Buck, buck, buck-kaw! Hic! Buck, buck, buck-kaw! Hic!' Wait a minute, this sounds kinda familiar…"

"No it doesn't! You've never read anything like this before!" Pyro protested quickly.

"It sounds a lot like that one time when you had the hiccups," Piotr observed thoughtfully.

"It **is** about that one time when I had the hiccups!" Remy growled and glared at Pyro furiously. "You wrote a story about that?! And posted it?!"

"Well, I did make a few minor changes to our names and appearances," Pyro chuckled nervously. "And what happened to you was pretty funny…"

"It was not! It was embarrassing!" Remy shouted angrily which made Pyro shrink in his seat. "And now thanks to you I've been humiliated in front of people all over the world!"

"You did not mention we were mutants did you?" Piotr frowned in concern.

"Of course not! I took artistic liberty and made all the characters human," Pyro explained hurriedly. "I didn't mention anything about mutants or our powers or the base or where we're located or anything like that. All the stories based on us describe a push of human blokes with complete anonymity. Nobody will ever know they're based on us. Unless they're looking for it. Maybe. Or know us really well. But what are the odds of that, huh?"

"And just **how** many of the stories that you've posted on here are based on us?" Remy indicated the website. "And exactly **which** events to they depict?"

"Uh, our marbleworks races, some of the pranks we've played on Mags and Sabes," Pyro searched his memory. "The times you were nearly killed while trying to fly a kite…"

"WHAT?!" Remy shouted.

"The pressure cooker and plunger incident," Pyro continued to tick off stories. "That time you had the hiccups, your baby powder experiment, the reason why you aren't allowed to buy olives anymore…"

"DIE!" Remy screamed and tackled Pyro to the ground.

"BUT THEY WERE FUN! AND FUNNY! AND PEOPLE REALLY SEEM TO LIKE THEM…AAACCCKKK!" Pyro gasped as Remy tried his best to strangle him.

"Stop this!" Piotr shouted as he jumped in and tried to pry them apart.

"OH HE'LL STOP IT ALRIGHT!" Remy yelled, misinterpreting Piotr's words. "I'LL MAKE SURE HE STOPS WRITING PERMENANTLY! ESPECIALLY ABOUT ME!"

"BUT THE PUBLIC IS CURIOUS! I'M JUST WRITING WHAT THEY WHAT TO KNOW!" Pyro wailed.

"I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" Remy continued to throttle him.

"I know one thing," Piotr grunted. "If someone ever wrote a book about what all **really** goes on around here nobody would believe it!"

* * *

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own X-Men: Evolution.**


End file.
